Whether we’re in the throes of something challenging or maintaining some well-earned calm, we’re always coping. Here are some tips and tools for taking care of yourself. Share these with your friends and family, so you can support each other!
Tip #1 - Connect to others, ask for help, and accept it
Know that you will experience some ups and downs, and support may feel helpful or necessary at various times. Reach out to someone whether you need momentary distraction or a deeper conversation. You can even let people know in advance that you may lean on them. You could find support from community groups or sign up for classes. If reaching out is hard for you, for whatever reason, ask others to check in on you from time to time. And if you prefer support from someone outside of your personal circle, or you believe you need additional support, please find a professional. It’s better to have options and not use them than to feel overwhelmed and unsure where to turn.
Curious about therapy? Depression and anxiety can be prevented and treated. Psychotherapy helps people feel better, live more meaningfully, and learn skills they can use forever. Therapy can also improve parents’ interactions with their children, which seems to have the greatest impact on children’s development. For more information about services available through The Parenting Well, visit here [link].
Finally, people may ask how they can help you in practical ways. Tell them. Not only will you likely eat better, sleep more, and feel more at ease, but you will be giving others an opportunity to feel good about themselves. Everyone feels better, and the sink gets cleared. It’s a win-win-win.
Tip #2 - Recognize when you need to cope, experiment, and practice your coping skills
You know yourself best. Look for changes from what’s typical for you – differences in your focus, mood, sleep, or nerves, for instance. You may notice changes first, but you could also ask others if they notice any differences. Noticing changes as soon as possible gives you the opportunity to respond before feeling overwhelmed. That’s the best way to think as clearly as possible and assess all your options.
Experiment with different coping methods to find ones that work best for you. Then practice. Practice may not make perfect, but it certainly makes more effective. Imagine a championship game, recital, or contest. Making a free throw or reciting lines goes much better and feels more natural when you’ve practiced under less pressure. Coping is the same way. When you notice stress building, you’ll feel prepared if you’ve practiced.
Tool #1 - Deep breathing
Turn to a resource that’s always available, fast-acting, and free: your breath. Slowing and regulating your breath tells your body that you’re OK, allowing your mind to follow. Essentially, deep breathing releases relaxation hormones that fight stress hormones, increasing oxygen in your body, relaxing muscle tension, reducing blood pressure and heart rate, stimulating your digestive system and metabolism, and strengthening your immune system. That all sounds worthwhile, right?
Here’s how to do it:
- Practice when you feel alert.
- Practice when emotions feel manageable, in addition to when you feel overwhelmed.
- Sit in an upright position with feet flat on the floor and arms by your side, or lie down with arms stretched comfortably.
- Close your eyes or soften your focus.
- Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Try to breathe deeply so that your body expands all around your ribs and into your belly. You’ll notice that your lower hand will rise and fall, and your chest hand will stay still.
- Count your inhales (1, 2, 3, 4) and exhales (1, 2, 3, 4), so you regulate your breath.
- Slow your exhales by pursing your lips and pretending you’re breathing out through a straw.
- If you feel lightheaded, take a break and continue when you feel ready.
- Set a goal to complete a series of breaths, or set a timer for a few minutes at a time.
- Repeat often.
Tool #2 - Pleasant activity
You know yourself best. You may know healthy ways to relax, but you probably find it difficult for lots of reasons to make time for these things. Setting a specific goal may help.
First, think of things that have worked for you in the past or that you’ve been meaning to try. This list will look different for everyone, and you can get as creative as you want! For inspiration, look at this list [link]. If you’re not sure where to find time, think about ways you can make mundane tasks more enjoyable. For instance, when you’re washing the dishes, appreciate the warm temperature of the water, notice rainbows in the soap bubbles, and listen to the rhythmic sounds.
Now, set a realistic goal to do something for yourself. Answer who, what, when, where, how, and why. If you’re able to make the goal that specific, chances are you’ll be able to accomplish it. Anticipate obstacles that may get in the way, and brainstorm ways you’ll overcome them.